Why is “Settling” Such a Charged Word?

Why is “Settling” Such a Charged Word?

“Settling” often comes with a negative connotation. When I googled it, one of the definitions I found was to “accept or agree to (something that one considers to be less than satisfactory)”. We assume that by settling, we’re taking a partner who’s “less than satisfactory”, but where does this notion come from in a romantic sense?

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Being with Suffering

Being with Suffering

The news is awful. There’s no way to sugar coat it. You can’t ignore it (and empaths, really can’t.) You can’t unsee the things you’ve seen and some feel like it’s their duty to be a constant witness. Small talk might be getting harder for you; and you might find irritation at those who seem like they're always ‘happy’ or are apolitical about what’s happening around them. Platitudes feel lame and, at best, don't really seem appropriate to the times.

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A Quick Guide to Consensual Non-Monogamy’s Many Different Relationship Structures

A Quick Guide to Consensual Non-Monogamy’s Many Different Relationship Structures

Marriage, and monogamous relationships, may have been the American societal norm for decades, but that tide seems to be shifting. In a national survey conducted by data analytics firm YouGov in 2020, only 56 percent of people cited complete monogamy as their ideal relationship style. An estimated 23 percent of respondents said their relationships were already non-monogamous, echoing 2017 research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, which found that more than one in five single Americans in their study had tried consensual non-monogamy. As Esther Perel points out in her book, The State of Affairs, “monogamy used to mean one person for life. Now, monogamy means one person at a time.”

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The Road to Forgiveness: A Journey Paved with Grace

The Road to Forgiveness: A Journey Paved with Grace

Within the fabric of our lives, forgiveness intertwines a delicate thread, binding wounds and healing scars. The road to forgiveness is not an easy one; it is fraught with pain, resentment, and sometimes, an overwhelming sense of injustice. Yet, as you traverse this challenging path, you'll find that forgiveness is not just a destination but a transformative journey, guided by the profound force of grace. Here are some ways to approach it:

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Unleash Your Creativity this Spring: A Guide to Manifesting Something New in Your Life

Unleash Your Creativity this Spring: A Guide to Manifesting Something New in Your Life

Springtime is often associated with rejuvenation, growth, and the emergence of new possibilities. As nature begins to bloom, so too does our desire for change and exploration. If you've found yourself yearning for something meaningful, different, or transformative in your life, then you're in the right place at the right time. Welcome to the release of "You Are Creative" – a guide designed to ignite your inventive spirit and empower you to embark on a journey of self-discovery and creation.

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What is liberation psychology and what is liberation-based therapy?

What is liberation psychology and what is liberation-based therapy?

Originating from the works of psychologists like Ignacio Martín-Baró and Paulo Freire, liberation psychology

emerged as a response to oppressive political regimes and social injustices occurring in Latin American during

the 1970s. It was a time when many Latin American countries were ruled by authoritarian regimes, and people

faced persecution and marginalization for expressing dissenting views or advocating for social change. Against

this backdrop, psychologists recognized the urgent need to address not just individual mental health issues

but also the broader social and political factors contributing to widespread suffering and oppression. This

practice offers a unique perspective on healing—one that prioritizes empowerment, cultural relevance, and

the interconnectedness of personal and societal well-being.

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Mutual Aid: A Call to Support the LBT Mental Health Fund - Support Us Store

Mutual Aid: A Call to Support the LBT Mental Health Fund - Support Us Store

I started the mutual aid fund during the pandemic because people found themselves in the midst of the crisis without access to mental health services. As we all remember, that time was also fraught with grief in relation to the many, many deaths of loved ones in our communities, job loss, fear and uncertainty of what the future might hold; fear of getting sick; getting sick with little resources. Then add the death of George Floyd, and the extremely divided political situation going into the presidential election - many people were on the brink. LBT reached out to a few generous individual donors who were able to support the fund - and we were able to provide support to people who were in deep need.

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Walk in Faith

Walk in Faith

Isn't it intriguing how our perception changes with distance? From high above, the world seems vast and boundless, yet intimately connected. It's akin to how we sometimes view our faith journey. When your faith or higher power feels distant, it's easy to succumb to feelings of loneliness and abandonment. You may question its presence, wondering if it's truly there amidst the chaos of your life.

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On Starting Over…

On Starting Over…

Life is a wild ride, filled with unexpected detours and crossroads that prompt us to contemplate the daunting prospect of starting over. Whether spurred by personal decisions, external circumstances, or a blend of both, mastering the art of starting over is a vital skill. New beginnings can offer a transformation power, or even a sexy resilience required to navigate change. The opportunities that emerge when we boldly step into the unknown can take us to places we could have never dreamed.

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A Method for Healing: Accelerated Resolution Therapy

A Method for Healing: Accelerated Resolution Therapy

Accelerated Resolution Therapy or ART is an evidence-based approach that helps alleviate the symptoms of PTSD, depression, stress, and anxiety. Whether you are struggling with specific symptoms or are carrying difficult memories and emotions from your past, ART will take a targeted approach to help you heal from these circumstances.

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Ugh! I am having problems talking to my kid! Ways to improve communication with children and teens

Ugh! I am having problems talking to my kid! Ways to improve communication with children and teens

Improving communication with children and teens is essential for fostering healthy relationships and supporting their development. It is not easy to do with busy schedules, long work days and long commutes. There are not enough hours in the day to be the kind of parent we want to be. And let’s be real, sometimes our kids get on our nerves! Especially when they are having growth spurts or when teens are going through the individuation process (when they begin to get a sense of themselves in the world separate from you) they can be hard to talk with. Here are some strategies that can help enhance communication:

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Building Stronger Foundations: Working with Children and their Families

Building Stronger Foundations: Working with Children and their Families

Family dynamics play a critical role in shaping a child's behavior and development. The family is often considered the primary social unit where children first learn about relationships, communication, and values. Children are highly influenced by the interactions and relationships within their families, and these dynamics can either promote healthy or problematic behaviors. For instance, a supportive and nurturing family environment can lead to positive behaviors in children, fostering qualities like empathy, cooperation, and self-confidence. Conversely, a family with a high level of conflict, neglect, or inconsistency can contribute to behavioral problems, such as aggression, anxiety, or poor social skills.

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Transpersonal Psychotherapy? Holistic Approaches? Reiki? I'm confused!

Transpersonal Psychotherapy? Holistic Approaches? Reiki? I'm confused!

I often get asked about other various approaches to wellness and healing modalities that are beyond “talk therapy”. There is so much out there that people get confused about what they should try or what might be right for them. They ask, what’s “real”? What's “fake”? There is so much out there. I cannot write an exhaustive blog post of everything that is out there but I will share what a few clients have asked me about in the past couple of months.

Transpersonal psychotherapy is a holistic approach to psychotherapy that goes beyond traditional psychological concepts and explores the spiritual, transcendent, and mystical aspects of human experience. It acknowledges that individuals have a deeper or higher self and seeks to help people connect with this aspect of themselves to achieve personal growth and transformation.

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What is a Feminist Approach to Therapy?

What is a Feminist Approach to Therapy?

Here’s a bit of history…the feminist approach to psychotherapy is a branch of psychology that shook things up during the late 20th century, particularly during the second wave of feminism. This approach is all about challenging the traditional ways of therapy and recognizing how societal power structures and gender inequality affect our mental health. It was like a breath of fresh air in the world of psychology, because it is a move away from white-male-centered dominant thinking within the field.

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Navigating the Teenage Rollercoaster

Navigating the Teenage Rollercoaster

Many teenagers manage to tackle these challenges and come out stronger. You've got resilience in your toolkit, and there are people who genuinely want to help you through these wild teenage years—your parents, caregivers, teachers, and even mental health professionals. So, hang in there! You're not alone in this rollercoaster ride. With a bit of support and a dash of self-belief, you can make it through and come out even stronger on the other side.

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Why I Can’t See You and Your Partner for Individual Therapy

Why I Can’t See You and Your Partner for Individual Therapy

It's not uncommon for individuals to seek help for issues that affect their relationships. Relationship problems can indeed take a toll on one's mental well-being, and seeking therapy is a commendable step toward addressing these concerns. However, there is a crucial distinction between individual therapy and couples therapy, and it's important to understand why therapists often cannot see both partners individually when relationship issues arise. This recently came up for me, so I thought it would be helpful to share the reasons behind this practice and why it is essential for the effectiveness of therapy.

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Engagement

Engagement

The engagement period can be an exciting and transformative time for a new couple. While experiences and feelings can vary among couples, here are some common aspects of what the engagement period might feel like.

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Preparing for Marriage or Long-Term Partnership

Preparing for Marriage or Long-Term Partnership

Discover the key to a lasting relationship and a brighter future with premarital/long-term union counseling. Learn the essential skills and gain valuable insights needed to navigate communication, conflict resolution, and shared values. Explore the often overlooked subjects like financial planning, family dynamics, and legal considerations. Lay a strong foundation for your future together and reduce the likelihood of divorce or separation. Find out why proactive engagement and open dialogue are crucial in building resilient and enduring partnerships. Start your journey towards a successful and fulfilling marriage or long-term commitment today.

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Overcoming Trauma in New Jersey City: A New Jersey Therapist’s Guide to Healing

Overcoming Trauma in New Jersey City: A New Jersey Therapist’s Guide to Healing

Living in this fast-paced world, especially as a New Jersey therapist, I can tell you that we're often tossed about by the waves of life, and sometimes, they leave a lasting impact, an imprint - trauma. But let me tell you, it's okay. It's okay to have been hurt, and it's okay to seek help. You, my friend, are resilient and you've made it this far. That's no small achievement. It's a testament to your strength. And together, we can find new ways to navigate these choppy waters.

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Digging Deeper, Together: An Inclusive Support Group for Black Men

Digging Deeper, Together: An Inclusive Support Group for Black Men

I heard somewhere that the first time some Black men receive flowers is at their funeral. This stark reality, upon reflection, doesn’t sound much like news—right? Flower-giving, in the broad sense, is a tradition of encouraging intimate connections with one another, conveying warmth, and communicating emotions; to say, “I see you.” Though, for a lot of Black men, being seen is often a luxury, stemming from a culture that rarely, if ever, acknowledges our emotional needs, let alone meets them. This can be damaging to one’s sense of self. When the need to feel connected is neglected by those around us, these feelings can be internalized and cause us to strain or blur our connection with ourselves. How we deal with our emotions is often influenced by how the world around us. From loved ones to the culture we live in, all interactions affect our emotions, especially how they are reflected back to us.

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